Do you know a funny one liner? Curiosity makes us go forward and develop our intelligence. Birthdays just burn me up.. I know because they told me. And a little laughter goes a long way to add cheer to the occasion, whether the celebrant is enthusiastic and ready to party or would prefer to hide under the covers with a giant slice of cake (and maybe a tumbler of wine). Because theyre so focused on the present. What birthday present is guaranteed to make anyones face light up? Happy birthday. I love hole foods. 43: Men are like bank accounts. If you tell any of these jokes to your wife, she will burst out laughing. Shes telepathetic.Every man wants a beautiful wife, a smart wife, a loving wife, a sexy wife, and a cooperative wife. Pull the ring and the house is gone.My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Marriage? Web145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor. Page 343. getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. Finding half a bug. 34: Why did the snowman smile? For a marriage to last, there must be laughing. What did one plate say to the other on its birthday? If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. Sex without condoms is magical A baby appears and father disappears. I have to walk back alone. Your email address will not be published. You spread its little legs. "I think you're cool. A light bulb. Whats the difference between your dick and a bonus check? How did the mathematician deal with his constipation? 69. Nothing it just waved. Because age is a relative thing. Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? WebOne liner tags: dirty, sex 81.72 % / 1990 votes. Id sleep in if I could, but I always forget to get you a card. My Dad had a firm grip on my shoulders. 79. I love you, she said.Is that you talking, I asked, Or the wine?Its me talking to the wine.Doctor: Your wifes in hospital.Me: How is she?Doctor: Im afraid shes critical.Me: Ah, you get used to thatWhy do wives use twice as many words as their husbands?Because they always have to repeat themselves.A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: Wife wanted.Next day he received a hundred letters. What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water? Losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike. ", 66. What did the cake say to the birthday girl? Cause I got the STD and all I need is U. I always worry when a woman sees me naked for the first time that shes just going to scream and run out of the park. What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? Hes been going through some shit. Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake. Women might be able to fake orgasms. Is your name Tanya? 7. Whats even better than winning the Special Olympics? 36. 28. (At your age, thats the only way you can hear me.) The boy turns to him and says, Hey mister, its getting really dark and Im scared. The man replies, How do you think I feel? If you make it to the end without breaking, everyone is shocked.What do a wife and a grenade have in common?They both leave you hurt when you pull off the ring.What is the difference between a potted plant and your wife?The answer would be the first one decomposes quicker.A man approaches a very beautiful woman in the supermarket and says, You know, Ive lost my wife here in the supermarket. "I'm feeling rather burned out. She said, Sex! 39. See TOP 10 dirty one liners. Whos there? 7: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? WebSo check this list of dirty one line jokes and enjoy. Kevin: Sure. Check out all these one-liner jokes and save them until one of your friends or family celebrates their birthdays. Dont scream or Ill kill you. 85. ?Husband: You copying me? What does a witch do on her birthday? And why are you shirtless? Me: *smiles and nods* Her: And youre covered in baby oil? Me: Well, you know how you always said I never glisten? Her: Listen. Here are some of those husband wife romantic jokes for you to enjoy. Because the snowblower is coming. One turned to the other and said, Hey, its hot in here.. How is a birthday cake like baseball? The guy goes, So you can put it up yourself? I said, No, I was thinking the living room. Gary Delaney, I asked a Chinese girl for her number. What did the frog drink to wash down his birthday cake? Because it didnt give a hoot. You know you're getting old when the little old grey-haired lady you helped across the street is your wife. Personally, I think its b***ocks. Billy Connolly, The young couple next door to me have recently made a sex-tape. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. 86. Everyone got totally sappy. Short dirty jokes might come in handy when you have nothing to do and want to ask acquaintances or close ones who share What did the leper say to the prostitute? 15. I just dont like things that stop you from seeing the television properly.. Three guys go on a ski trip together. Mice cream cake. It was a little hoarse. The trouble is theyre usually married to each other.My ex-wife still misses me. I admit Im wrong, and she agrees with me.My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side so i crashed the car.I comforted my friend about his wifes death: until I found out who did it.I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. Donut worry, be happy! ?Husband: I am asking you? Angel food cake. A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. Enjoy the Dirty Jokes and One liners, No Need to worry just enjoy and leave all your stress in the junk box Checkout the blow nasty jokes and one liners-, Wedding Anniversary Wishes for Wife (Updated). 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Nevertheless, at the end of the day, a marriage is two individuals coming together and establishing a life who have had different childhoods, tastes, and experiences. 5. One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep sh*t. Why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. It went swimmingly. 68: Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the sperm bank? I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. 32. . Where can you go to study birthday treats? Keep the tip. What's a bee's favorite day of the year? 5: How many men does it take to open a beer? 29: What is the difference betwen a blonde and a Lamborghini? Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. What did one candle say to the other? 27: Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute? What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? King Henry the Second. Readers discretion advised. A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. A year older. Whos there? What do you call balls on your chin? I saw a dildo the other day described as nine inches long and realistic. 47. I got the bike. Jimmy Carr. Can you give me a compliment?Husband: You have perfect eyesight.Wife: Our neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work, but you dont. You dont let your friends borrow your Lamborghini. Then I went to watch the crocodiles. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? What did the banana say to the vibrator? the end of your tie doesnt come anywhere near the top of your pants. 61. I had to fast-forward through the boring bit at the beginning. I haven't given a shit in days. Your wife will always blow your bonus! There are twenty of them. You never listen. Me: Ohhhhhh.. My friend told me that his birthday was on Halloween. Your email address will not be published. 65. But her aim is steadily improving.An American woman married a British man. WebDirty one liners. The one that's not yet eaten. 6. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, the third nun couldnt reach. How about you read the next segment and find out for yourself. 100. When youre a kid, .css-dv4kb7{-webkit-text-decoration:underline;text-decoration:underline;text-decoration-thickness:0.0625rem;text-decoration-color:brandColorSecondary;text-underline-offset:0.25rem;color:inherit;-webkit-transition:all 0.3s ease-in-out;transition:all 0.3s ease-in-out;}.css-dv4kb7:hover{color:#683d85;text-decoration-color:border-link-body-hover;}your birthday is all about presents, balloons, friends, and fun. Donut be jelly. What game do rabbits play at their birthday parties? I wore the wrong pair of socks. 13. That was an insect. To which one of the boys replies, Im surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!. 96. I donut want to glaze over the fact that I like you a hole lot. Is it in?. Your job still sucks. 24: My cats dead, can I play with your pussy instead? Its one of those evolutionary things that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk that hed like a bottle of Chanel No. Im sorry, but if Christmas is coming so am I. Sarah Millican, One sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears. : NICE girls blush when they watch porn, GOOD girls smile cause they know they can do better. The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. Free sex tonight! I said, Wow! Then her friend said, She means 666-3629., I got a DVD on how to improve your foreplay. I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn. Chris: Do you like the dictionary I bought for your birthday? Why did the baker laugh in the bakery? Bison. Gary Delaney. If sex is a pain in the ass, then youre doing it wrong . 27. Because North Korean long-range missiles can't go that far. How moving was the message in the birthday card? Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Still looking for more birthday greeting inspiration? Then I found out he was looking for an expiration date.Marriage is when a man and woman become one.The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.Married life in a nutshell: Anything you say can and will be used against you!Marriages are made in heaven. Youre dead if the rubber breaks. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Married. To. What did one lion say to the other on its birthday? Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Who can make More money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute this. 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